No Sex Please, We're Teenagers
By Sue Relf, Voluntary organiser
This article is from SecEd; January 2007
Until five to ten years ago STIs were not an issue for teens at school. Now,
sexually transmitted infections are a real threat to their health. The two that
are most common, human papilloma virus and chlamydia, can silently cause
irreparable damage to the female reproductive organs. Within three years of
first sex one in two sexually active people will be infected with HPV. This is
not as drastic as it sounds, as many strains are benign, but it is nevertheless
a frightening statistic. A vaccine against the main cancer causing strains is
being developed. One in nine sexually active young people are infected with
chlamydia, according to latest estimates. Condoms have little effectiveness
against HPV and only 60% protection against chlamydia, at the best guess. The
government recognises that this public health problem is an 'epidemic'.
Everyone knows that there is a guaranteed way of avoiding any of the problems
associated with early sexual activity, including teenage pregnancy. Stating the
obvious in an unequivocal way is neatly summed up as 'Just say no' or
'abstinence education'. Both terms have derogatory connotations and, according
to official sources, 'do not work'. But, incontrovertibly, 'saying no' is
fail-safe. How might schools provide sex and relationships education that
presents 'saying no' as a lifestyle that has considerable attractiveness for the
forward thinking? How might schools help students 'say no' by empowering them to
believe that they can?
Knowing that 'abstinence education' needs rebranding, Challenge Team UK is one
initiative amongst several that have emerged from the voluntary and charity
sector in the past few years. A 'Challenge Team' comprises four or five young
adult presenters who have decided that they will save sex and practise chastity.
The word 'chastity' is virtually unknown for many teens and it is given meaning
by the team who talk about 'respecting your own sexuality and the sexuality of
all other people'. The team, which comprises at least two of each sex, tell
their audiences why they think and behave as they do. Sexuality is a good thing.
Sexual feelings are a good thing. Sex is a good thing; so good that it is
something to be highly valued and respected. Sex is powerful and accompanied by
strong emotions and passions. Because it is so powerful it can be damaging. It
can be saved. The hour long interactive, magazine style presentation has pupils
sitting on the edge of their seats. The presentation is fast moving,
concentrated and interlaced with plenty of humour. There is no hint of preaching
or moralising and no religious references. The frankness and honesty of the team
members astonishes audiences. Their sincerity moves them. The terminology used
is always respectful. No-one is embarrassed. Those who have had sex already can
make a new start if they want to. The dangers of too much alcohol are
highlighted. There is relationships education as well as sex education.
Friendship is talked up. 'Love is a devotion whereas infatuation is an emotion'.
Sex can have emotional as well as physical fall out. 'Practising chastity' is
not presented as an easy choice, but the many advantages are listed. Sex is
worth waiting for. It is SRE delivered in a way that students have never seen
before.
Challenge Team UK recruits and trains young adult volunteers who then tour the
country. Each school pays £150 per visit. Presentations are made to year groups
from Year 8/9 to sixth form
A Manchester comprehensive school teacher wrote, 'I thoroughly enjoyed the
presentation and found it both informative and entertaining. I was slightly
concerned about the reaction of pupils who live with parents who are in
committed relationships but have not married - having talked to such pupils
afterwards however, this was not a problem at all. My two colleagues were also
very positive about the presentation. I have talked to a number of pupils, both
girls and boys, and the feedback was very positive. They responded particularly
well to the presentation coming from young people.'
A teacher at a Liverpool comprehensive wrote, 'The presentation was wonderful,
witty, challenging, honest and straightforward. I have recommended the Team to
two other schools. Do I get commission?'
Another teacher wrote, 'This was an excellent presentation. The presenters
promoted clear messages in an informative and entertaining way. The students
enjoyed the performance and appreciated the high level of humour. Many students
found that their attitudes to the subject were changed by the issues raised and
their knowledge improved, eg. contraception, STIs.
Almost 100% of schools ask for a return visit. The response from pupils is
universally favourable. 'It told the truth' was one comment. Other pupils have
responded, 'Boss!', 'It was cool!', 'It made you think.'
One pupil from Birmingham wrote, 'Dear Challenge Team UK, I am just emailing to
say thank you. You did a presentation at my school and I am very grateful that
you did. It felt like everyone around me did have boyfriends and were doing
stuff that I hadn't. I felt really pressured and like an outcast. After your
performance I realised that that wasn't true and I'm very grateful to you for
making me realise it. I think that your performances are fantastic and I really
admire you for doing it … I'm going to save sex for marriage and because of you
I bet many others like me will to (sic).'
While wanting to inform students about the risks of early sex, Challenge Team
also aims to raise their aspirations. Marriage is presented as the place where
sex is most safely experienced. Almost all teens say that they hope to be
married one day, whether they belong to single parent families, re-ordered
families or live with both their birth parents. Hardly any teens think that
marriage is old fashioned or out of date. Challenge Team UK made the difficult
decision not to use the term 'long term committed relationship' as
interchangeable with marriage. If most young people hope to be married, then why
not affirm their aspirations and help them to fulfil them? 'Long-term committed
relationship', while sometimes virtually the same as marriage, in the majority
of cases is not. Which fourteen year old teen in 'love' does not think she is in
a 'long term committed relationship'? Research is now showing that co-habitation
has become an 'intense form of dating' because so many of such couples split up.
Half of all co-habiting unions end within a year. There is a misconception that
relationships can be 'test-driven' by living together first. Of course there are
couples who live together and stay together. Apparently though, marriages that
are not preceded by cohabitation have the best chance of being long-lived,
especially those where sex has been saved for marriage. Every sexual partner
before marriage and outside it can only threaten its cohesion and ability to
withstand stresses. Its public nature, planned commitment and legal status give
it the best chance of stability and longevity. 'All you need is love' needs
unpacking and explaining.
Young people who are lesbian or gay can also be inspired to save sex and
practise chastity. If they wish to enter into a civil partnership this option is
now open to them. Saving sex gives adolescents who may be confused about their
sexuality time to mature before deciding whether they are 'gay' or 'straight'.
Idealism? Cloud cuckoo land? Challenge Team UK believes that teens can be
inspired. Those teens who instinctively feel that sex is sacred, or whose family
or religious background supports saving sex for marriage are affirmed in their
convictions. Those teens under 16, still in the majority, who have yet to become
sexually active, are given food for thought and information to help them make
one of the most important decisions of their lives. Those who have already
engaged in sexual activity are made aware of the risks and are challenged to
think again. If the onset of sex is delayed, even in a few, then some
pregnancies, abortions and STIs will have been avoided and life chances
improved. Challenge Team UK offers schools an alternative to the current
cultural assumptions.